Things I don't want my kids witnessing now that they are home for summer break:
My clothing. Are they noticing this is the fourth day on this pair of yoga pants? Probably not. My closet has countless identical pairs. When I find a pair of pants long enough for my giraffe legs, I buy in quantity, 30 percent coupon or no. But the children might be taking note of the peanut butter smear that's been on my front hoodie pocket since school let out.
My lunch break. So, the kids are wondering just how much I can balance on the arm of the couch? There’s a plate, a bowl, and on a windless day, a full glass of water. These are the very things they are forbidden to do. The very things they watch me spill and curse and clean up with a screech of “See why I tell you to eat at the table?”
My phone time. What is it to them if I talk on the phone while folding laundry and emptying the dishwasher and basically going about my day with a phone growing out of my head? But if they see I'm busy, especially busy (folding and a business call, for all they know) there's surely an emergency needing attention. If I'm only folding they are nowhere in sight. Ever.
My living room. The boys like to create videos for YouTube. It might be a how-to video on Angry Birds or a showcase of their Lego collection. But it's nearly always a tell-all on their mother's lack of patience as I go blowing through the background launching missiles and shouting orders. I never realize there was recording taking place until I hear the playback and I'm all like WHAT crazy thing are you watching now? Only to recognize our living room in the next instant.
And that is the worst of all – to get a flash of life from another perspective. The house is in shambles and I’m in shambles. But if I look closely, I can see, too, that the kids are laughing and running, spilling Cheezits and dragging blankets and building forts and making a real show of torturing me.
But it makes me laugh, after the initial shock, to witness that, to see that the summer fun is here, in all its messy, crazy glory. Bring it on!