We might appear to be all about this health nut thing, what with our flamboyant editorials on biking. But really, our love affair is with sugar. All this biking is only to make way for sugar intake.
As an ode to our Health issue, we’d like to admit to you our addictions. While Kerry is prone to the chocolate binge, Kandy has become addicted to the unusual and rarely seen "Frosting Affair."
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
The Dressing Room Ritual
The dressing room ritual comes after maybe five minutes of trying to shop with anyone under the age of 5. Although dressing rooms are armed with security cameras, they prove to be an excellent place to completely lose your mind for a moment while shopping with children.
I find that cornering my children in a cubicle with a growl and bared teeth gives me a lurch of satisfaction not found anywhere else in this plane of existence.
Upon entering and bolting the door, I sit them down on the bench and take one of three tactics (depending on how far into the insanity phase I am. Meaning depending on how many threats I’ve already tried):
1) Completely Crazed Mother at Hand.
This is my favorite because I get to blow off a lot of steam. In this scenario, the children wonder if they’ve gone so far as to make me disregard female-only security staff and let them “have it” (mom terminology). I rant and rave, threaten and swear, point and grimace.
I find that cornering my children in a cubicle with a growl and bared teeth gives me a lurch of satisfaction not found anywhere else in this plane of existence.
Upon entering and bolting the door, I sit them down on the bench and take one of three tactics (depending on how far into the insanity phase I am. Meaning depending on how many threats I’ve already tried):
1) Completely Crazed Mother at Hand.
This is my favorite because I get to blow off a lot of steam. In this scenario, the children wonder if they’ve gone so far as to make me disregard female-only security staff and let them “have it” (mom terminology). I rant and rave, threaten and swear, point and grimace.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010 Resolutions
For my GTWoman Magazine, these are my resolutions:
We will not promise everyone an article in the magazine and then have Kandy worry and wince and dread the true space available. Kandy will control her enthusiasm and say "no" when the issue is full. For those of you who get the brand new patented "no" — we are sorry. Actually, we'd like to direct you to Leann Foley, who we have hired as our bodyguard. (Assistant editor sounded better on her biz cards and when we offered her the job.)
We will not wait to find something to wear to our very own events the hour before we are to arrive for set-up. This means we may no longer smell like cardboard boxes and have folds forming squares over our chests and backs.
We will not promise everyone an article in the magazine and then have Kandy worry and wince and dread the true space available. Kandy will control her enthusiasm and say "no" when the issue is full. For those of you who get the brand new patented "no" — we are sorry. Actually, we'd like to direct you to Leann Foley, who we have hired as our bodyguard. (Assistant editor sounded better on her biz cards and when we offered her the job.)
We will not wait to find something to wear to our very own events the hour before we are to arrive for set-up. This means we may no longer smell like cardboard boxes and have folds forming squares over our chests and backs.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
